Progress Update: Third Grade Edition.

Well, the school year in Texas has begun. And just like that, I’ve entered Narnia and time moves at a different pace. It’s measured by the sunlight coming through the big classroom window and whether it’s time to go to Art or recess; by how restless everyone is. But I, like all the kiddos who showed up last week with their backpacks and lunchboxes, am ready to make progress.

  1. Write something for people to read.

I wrote “Get out your folder” on the whiteboard the other day. Reactions were mixed—not my best work, but a solid effort.

2. Save a substantial amount of money.

Turns out, school supplies are expensive. But school clothes are cheap on ThredUp, if you’re ok with them being used.

3. Get stains out of the rug.

Nope. Although I spilled a cup of coffee, then managed to minimize the damage thanks to shop towels (available at Wal-Mart). 

4. Speak Spanish passably well.

No, sorry. 

5. Bake things that start out as dough.

Too busy.

6. Cook a steak.

Too tired.

7. Get through a long, boring, classic book so I understand cultural references.

Hmm…no classics, although I read a book for school called On Reading Well, and I’d highly recommend it.

8. Sit through a long, famous, classic movie so I understand references and jokes.

Not a movie per se, just a lot of Peppa Pig. I now know why Andrew is getting a British accent.

9. Learn how football works.

No, but according to Drew and Peppa Pig and most of the world, you need a black and white ball to play it.

10. Learn how finance works. Like, even a LITTLE.

Don’t buy school supplies at Target or Mardel. That’s how it works.

11. Expand my food horizons.

Two words: Churro. Cereal.

12. Learn to apply eyeliner.

For your information, I wore eyeliner on the first day of school and looked great. My feet are still blistered from the high heels but I was committed.

13. Travel. Internationally. Without freaking out.

No, although third grade is definitely its own world…

14. Learn how to use a compass. Just in case. 

Nope. I already did. Maybe I’ll teach the kids…

15. Drive on the highway. Without freaking out.

They’re doing some huge construction on our highway, so all of central Texas is freaking out about it.

16. …really, learn ANYTHING about cars.

Andrew knows more about cars at this point than anyone.

17. Learn how the U.S. government works. 

Sorry, we are studying the Middle Ages, so I’ve mostly been thinking about absolute monarchies.

18. Keep a plant alive. Preferably an edible one.

I shall, mark my words! Live plants are great to have in class.

19. Fix minor problems with clothes (so…sewing, I guess).

Stained one of my white shirts somehow, but I fixed it by wearing another shirt over it. Problem solved.

20. Fix ANY broken thing…just fix something.

I fixed a kid’s shoelace the other day…that counts.

So, there it is…welcome to adulthood, where progress is hard to define…you sort of have to teach yourself. But Mrs. Fitz would be proud.

Anybody have any news of her…?

Thanks, team 😁

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